The Love Keys

The Art of Ecstatic Sex
(Chapter One of The Love Keys)

by
Diana Richardson


Reframing Sex

Everyone is interested in sex. It is the one subject that has continued to be of
undying fascination, if not obsession, throughout the millennia. You can
immediately tell when sex is the focus of a conversation; heads huddle closely
together and there is a hushed intensity, an almost thickening of the air.

Conversely, when people are afraid to talk about sex or ashamed of sex, and it's
animal nature, there can be a palpable feeling of separation, a screen of isolation
and tension surrounding them.

The fact remains that whether sex is being discussed or ignored, repressed or
expressed, enjoyed or endured, it is the single most significant aspect of our lives.
Sex is always happening in the mind; it forms the central theme of our thoughts and
daydreams. In truth, the whole of life pivots around sex. It is part of our atomic
chemistry, as each sentient creature on this planet was created in sex, from the
union of the male and female cells.

Our sexuality accompanies us throughout our lives in various stages of development
and expression. It is the source of a great deal of pain and pleasure, of comfort and
discomfort. It often determines our happiness and unhappiness, our ecstasies and
our agonies.

The media uses sex to advertise, to disgrace, to scandalize, and people use sex to
control, to entice, to abuse and abandon. Our obsession with fashion and
appearance revolves around sex and being viewed by someone as attractive gives us
vitality and confidence, even if we, in turn, don't find that person particularly
attractive..

When desire is mutually shared, then we see the possibility of love, and this fills us
with joy. It is what each of us truly longs for. To love and to be loved.
Nothing can take its place! And when we love someone, sex becomes an ongoing
thread of communication.

Sex can also be the cause of miscommunication, of arguments, violence, confusion,
discontent and restlessness. I've heard it said that men think about sex every three
minutes; women think about it every six to seven minutes.
Whatever the real statistics, the fact remains that we as human beings are in an
ongoing relationship with sex, whether we like it or not.

Sexual Energy and the Life Force

There is simply no way of containing the sex energy; it is the life force itself.
Even though in our minds we often try and make a separation between sexual
energy and other energy, the truth is that it is all one and the same thing.
Energy is simply energy, with an inherent capacity to move, and it moves whether
the life force expresses itself through sex or survival, in art, athletics or acrobatics.
And try as we might, we cannot repress or ignore this energy, we can only learn to
channel it in the most intelligent and uplifting ways.

As prevalent as sex is, it is a rare person who has discovered a way to derive full
satisfaction or a loving heart from its practice.

In inquiring into the phenomenon of orgasm, modern research reveals the sobering
findings that an average sexually active person experiences orgasmic ecstasy for
twenty seconds a week, 90 seconds a month, and thus eighteen minutes a year.
And this is based on an average orgasm lasting 10 seconds.
Even ten seconds can sound to be quite an achievement!

So in fifty years of sexual activity we have the privilege of experiencing orgasmic
ecstasy for about fifteen hours in total. Which is astonishing (and distressing) when
you consider how many times you make love in your life, and how much additional
time is spent dreaming about it and agonizing over it!
It is obvious that love and sex are not in a satisfactory state for most of us.
Sex is not the orgasmic, innocent, spiritual force it is meant to be, transporting us
into a world of love and true passion. It does not deeply fulfill us, giving us the
strength to face each day with enthusiasm, nor does it have the power to take us
beyond the pressures or limitations of our day to day life.

Sexual problems between men and women are common, if not rife, such as sexual
abuse, frigidity, ambivalence, premature ejaculation, impotence, and sexual
dis-interest.

Sex and Intelligence

In order to reverse this, and find the profundity of sexual satisfaction we seek, we
must begin to bring intelligence into our view of sex. We have to start looking at it
within a new framework, see it from a different perspective, beyond that of
reproduction or immediate physical pleasure and gratification.
Beyond that of considering sex to be a compulsive animal urge which we have to
appease. This new picture will give fresh insights into sexual energy, how it best
responds, and how to utilize sex as an ongoing creation of love between man and
woman.

And the good news is that sex is an extremely healthy empowering force which we
can enjoy and use to our great benefit. Sex in its highest form has an element of
the divine in it. It brings you to here, to the divinity of the present moment where
you feel gloriously at ease, unified with existence. Everything rests perfectly in
place. It is an orgasmic biological ecstasy which arises out of the dynamic interplay
of opposite forces, and which is food for the spirit.

Sadly, many people of religion hold the opinion that sex is a distraction on the path
to God. Avoid sex at all costs, some of us have been taught, even if you spend your
nights dreaming restlessly about it and your days obsessively thinking about it. This
is a great misunderstanding and an aching loss to humanity.

If sex is limited to reproduction and gratification, and ignores its subtle spiritual
function, it dissipates life energy, disturbing mind, body and spirit.

Alternatively, with Tantra, the cosmic balancing of male and female energies, yin
and yang, positive and negative, dynamic and receptive, we can introduce love and
spirit in our lives, within and without, and learn to live beyond the limitations of
simple biology. We are offered the opportunity to return to our nature, as men and
women, and to find the spiritual language of love through the physical act of making
love.

It is a different picture of sex to the one we inherited from our uninformed society.
Until then, it is as though we have been looking at sex through a pair of misty
spectacles. Tantra gives us new insights and a completely different vision of sex and
its function.

Phases of Sexual Energy

In human beings the sexual energy is understood to run in a circular path, along
internal channels, through the body, with two distinct phases. The first phase, and
initial impetus of sex energy begins in the brain, before circling downward to the
genitals. More specifically, the hypothalamic-pituitary region and the pineal gland in
the brain secretes hormones, which control the important endocrine system in the
body, and these include the sexual glands. These hormones maintain sexual
well-being and promote the eventual readiness for sexual intercourse. This is the
first and descending half of the circle from the brain to the genitals. It is known as
the biological or reproductive phase of the sex energy. And it is here that we
invariably release the sexual energy created in sex, through orgasm or ejaculation.

The secret of Tantra, and its prime interest, is that the sex energy is encouraged to
be retained in the body. It is not habitually released in orgasm or ejaculation. It
remains within the body and is re-circulated, and through this we fulfill our
orgasmic potential. In this the second half and ascending phase, the sex energy is
given the opportunity to circulate back to it's source in the brain, so as to revitalize
and nourish the master glands (pineal and pituitary) of the body. These glands are
so called because of their profound influence on health.

Sexual activity is known to release many hormonal factors which positively affect
body and attitude, and sex since ancient times has been associated with longevity
and spiritual illumination. When the sex energy is able to be re-absorbed, recycled
as it were, sex becomes a revitalizing energizing force.
This is therefore known as the spiritual or generative phase of sex, and here the
genitals are viewed reverently as generative organs. Accessing this second phase of
the sexual energy, by allowing it to turn inward and upward, is the revelation of
Tantra. It shows us that sex can be directed to create more life, not
simply another life.

This spiritual phase of the sex energy arises as man and woman learn to relax
together during sexual union.

This is contrary to the popular experience of sex as effort, an activity involving
tensions and pressures. We believe that the more we do in sex, the more will
happen, and the greater the reward. We hardly think of taking it easy! But this is
upside down.

What we don't realize is that genuine sexual ecstasy goes hand in hand
with physical relaxation. The more we relax, the more we feel.

In fact, ecstasy and tension are diametrically opposed; tension creates heat and
restlessness while ecstasy arises from a coolness and an inner peace. Tension
narrows and contracts, while relaxation opens and expands. Tension creates a peak,
while relaxation creates a valley. Tension forces a release, while relaxation allows
absorption. Thus relaxation is the whole ambiance of Tantra.

It says that when we relax down into the sexual energy, instead of building it up to
a peak and then releasing it, the outcome will be more life energy and more love. In
re-directing the sexual energy through relaxation, it is enabled to turn inward and
upward, where it is automatically re-absorbed by the body, and recycled on a higher
plane.

Tantra describes this step as being one of placing your foot on the first step of the
inner ladder of growth. In time, a neglected energy pathway forges its way open in
the core of the body, which is experienced from the genitals upward, as a
streaming electro-magnetic current, a glorious golden light phenomenon.
When we encourage the spiritual phase of sex instead of obstructing it, as we do in
our ignorance, lovemaking becomes sacred experience filled with wonder.

Summary:
* Sexual energy is the life force itself running through us all.
* By balancing our male and female energies we can enjoy a healthy, empowering
sexual relationship.
* We can direct sexual energy in the usual way by orgasm or we can redirect it to
give us more energy, more love.
* Thus transforming sex creatively into a truly uplifting experience.